Added: The more I typed into this blog about physical pain and health problems, the more I realized a few things I already knew:
1. Everybody is similar at least in the sense that this life entails a lot of pain! Mental, physical, spiritual: the whole deal.
2. One of the keys for my happiness is acceptance. It has to be! What I learned is I got no choice. I must accept or I am very unhappy.
I’m 50 years old with a one-year old spinal fusion along with some sinus problems, sleep apnea problems, tooth problems and a prostrate problem that I’m kind of scared to address. I’ve learned in life, though, that not addressing health problems—or any problem, for that matter—only makes things worse.
On this blog, I attempt to document my experience of addressing these problems. I hope I might even encourage somebody else to not put off that scary thing and instead get into the doctor’s office if that’s possible. I know for readers in the USA that we’ve got a system that makes getting professional health help difficult for millions of people.
On this website, I attempt to research and learn and figure things out. Sometimes it’s placid musing. Sometimes the tone can get angry. Hey, that’s life in this society. This society can get frustrating as hell for everybody here. Not just me! You know that’s true…don’t act like it’s just me who gets frustrated by doctors who don’t return your calls and the like…
Not every post is pretty. Some are just notes and bookmarks that I want to go back and look at more. Still, I’m doing this in a public way because…why the hell not? That’s how everyone does things these days!
The longer version of this blog’s name could probably be something like: The middle-aged guy attempts to figure out his physical and psychological problems… and, I’m just taking notes here, documenting my life and spinal fusion rehabilitation (which is a rehab that will go on for the rest of my life!)
A major theme, though, is pain, because before my spinal fusion surgery I was experiencing a level of pain that—despite my better judgment—had drastic thoughts swirling in my brain. Now, I’m a dad, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to self-terminate…but, I try to be honest, and the truth is that I was in such a miserable state that those thoughts did enter my mind.
I’m not going to lie about that, and I’m not going to be ashamed about it either.
If someone else with severe back problems reads this…I want you to know that you’re not alone…I and many other people have been in similar levels of pain. And, it’s a difficult life.
So, in my case, the spinal fusion surgery went well. I know that they don’t go well for everybody. But, in my case, the surgeon truly saved my life.
And, I’m very thankful to him and to God and to the universe…although I know that sounds corny…when I’m out swimming or shooting baskets, that’s honestly how I feel.
So, this is the stuff I document on this website. I want to be able to sleep at night without apnea. I want to be able to breathe through my nose. I don’t want my teeth to rot out. I would like to live in the least amount of pain possible.
I called the site PAINBAD because I thought this was a catchy little name in the Internet age and all…but, the truth is that pain’s not entirely bad: because, it tells you that there’s a problem that needs to be addressed.